don’t shoot the pianist
he is doing the best he can

Tickets for the thirteenth Van Cliburn International Piano Competition have been released.

If Parliament gets dissolved before Blair Wilson actually sits down again in the House of Commons, does Wilson still become the first sitting Green MP?

If you haven’t heard, the Greens announced—yes, announced—the ex-Liberal as their first MP this morning. It’s pretty pathetic when your party’s first MP is announced, as opposed to elected. But Green leader Elizabeth May was impatient, and Wilson was shopping his services around. As recently as last month, Wilson was trying to gain re-entry into the Liberal caucus, which, to its full credit, wanted to have nothing to do with him.

That said, a seat in Parliament is a seat in Parliament, and Wilson still has one, along with the $147,000 annual salary that comes with the position. So congratulations, May. Congratulations on your party’s first elected sitting MP. Just don’t act like it’ll get you a free pass to the leaders’ debates. As several PMO spokespersons have already commented, one Liberal leader at the debates is enough.

Apparently the key to winning all those piano competitions wasn’t practice; it was getting people better than me declared too good to compete:

[Jericho Scott] has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more.

… Officials for the three-year-old league, which has eight teams and about 100 players, said they will disband Jericho’s team, redistributing its players among other squads, and offered to refund $50 sign-up fees to anyone who asks for it.

Sofya Gulyak was unavailable for comment.

Natasha Kai was onside. I hate to say it, but Martina Franko was playing her onside by the slimmest of margins. Another few inches and a major upset could have been in the works. As it was, however, the Canadian women lost to rivals United States 2–1 after extra time in a quarterfinal match that ended over four hours after it began.
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I think I know which book I’m going to be reading next. Lang Lang’s autobiography, Journey of a Thousand Miles: My Story, was published last month, and Today has an excerpt:

If they persisted in complaining, [my father would] answer them with screams of his own. “My boy is a genius! You are lucky to get to hear him play for free! One day people will pay good money for the privilege!”

Prophetic words.

To Edmonton Oilers:

• Jimmy Carson
• Martin Gelinas
• Los Angeles Kings’ 1st round picks in the 1989, 1991, and 1993 NHL Entry Drafts
• $15,000,000

To Los Angeles Kings:

• Marty McSorely
• Mike Krushelnyski
• Wayne Gretzky

If you missed it between the opening ceremonies of the Olympics and a war breaking out in Georgia, John Edwards confessed to an affair yesterday. A story that the National Enquirer broke several months ago has turned out to be factual. How often do you get to say that?

Just how badly are the major news outlets doing, anyway? They all got scooped by a tabloid publication. A tabloid! Meanwhile, the New York Times was too busy chasing a story about John McCain and a lobbyist that never turned out to be.

As for Edwards himself, the man is a lying, cheating dirtbag. How he could cheat on his cancer-stricken wife and then consciously trot his family out campaigning is beyond me. But that’s not what amazes me most about this.

What amazes me most is that he thought he could run for president and not have this kind of a skeleton dragged out of his closet during a campaign that typically lasts upwards of an entire year now. Just imagine if he had actually won the Democratic nomination. The election would have been well decided by today.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the wonderful folks at PETA for once again exposing themselves—pun not intended—as the insufferable imbeciles they are:

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The snail spam comes fast and furious:

Dear Sensible Driver,

Recent data indicates that drivers with comparable driving records in your area may be paying less than you are for car insurance…